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Ends 'n' Odds

by Tom Smith

Anita Hill 03:08
Something romantic, something pedantic, Something for everyone on honeymoon tonight! His frown's knight-errant, her gown's transparent, Something for everyone on honeymoon tonight! No aisle too thin, no train too wide, That kinda sounds like "Here Comes The Bride". Rented tuxedo strains with libido, Get this -- the bride is wearing white, Tragedy tomorrow! Honeymoon tonight. Something old and new, and borrowed and blue, A refurbished "Grover" doll for honeymoon tonight! Rented horse carriage, your friends say, "Mawwiage, Dat dweam wiffin a dweam" -- it's honeymoon tonight! Seeds in your hair, soap on your car, Thank God the reception hall has a bar. Tossing the garter, toasting the martyr, Isn't that "Chicken Dance" a fright? Tragedy tomorrow, honeymoon tonight! Lost your hotel room, "You sure you're a groom? Let's see a driver's license" -- honeymoon tonight! Champagne together, shackles and leather, Something for EVERYONE on honeymoon tonight! She never knew he's into that, He had no clue why friends call her "Cat".... Dawn comes too early... you're cramped and surly... This time, you're gonna get it right! Married life tomorrow... Honeymoon, honeymoon, honeymoon, honeymoon, honeymoon -- Tonight!
PFMS 01:53
Jeopardy '91 01:19
Scarlett 01:37


This might be called Evolution Of A Okay Performer, or Wild Child, or Tom Capsule, or When Tom Kinda Sucked But He Does Get Better I Promise.

What it basically is, is a bunch of songs I wrote between, oh, 1987 and 1996 that haven't seen the light of day for various reasons. Bluntly, I find a couple of them embarrassing now, but I wrote 'em and I promised I'd release 'em.

What I really find interesting is how much my performance skills have changed in the intervening years, along with how much I still sound like myself, if that makes any sense. I think one of my strengths musically is my live performance skill set, and I want to grab my earlier self and say, "No no no! Do THIS!" except that I don't really have to, because that'd be, like, talking to myself.

The other thing about these is they're taken from literally so many sources I can't tell you who might have recorded what when. I can go back and find the disks the tracks are on, but a number of them were stuffed into my hands by some fan who'd just recorded them, or recorded them months ago, and I don't have names associated with most of 'em, and for that I'm sorry. So just chalk up the original recording to The Devoted Techies Of Filk Fandom. Thank you for your devotion and skill, and long may you wave your microphones! (And, if you are one of the people who recorded one of these tracks, by all means e-mail me and I'll stick your name in the credits.)

So. Here are some parodies, some original songs, some blatant bandwagon jumps, some political commentaries, and some of the worst puns I ever committed, along with some of my best buddies singing along in places (you'll certainly be able to recognize Barry Childs-Helton, Anne Prather, Murray Porath, Mary Ellen Wessels, and I think even Julia Ecklar got in there). I hope you find it entertaining, and at the very least inspirational: I don't think I was all that good, but I wasn't all that bad, and I wrote some decently funny stuff, and if I can do it, you can too.


released April 27, 2010

The use of copyrighted songs on this album is protected under the Fair Use provisions of 17 U.S.C. § 107. All trademarks and/or copyrighted materials owned by persons, agencies, or entities other than Tom Smith are invoked for satirical purposes only, and remain the properties of those persons, agencies, or entities. Challenge to trademark or copyright should be neither implied nor construed.




Tom Smith Ann Arbor

Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts, minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come. ... more

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