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Cover of the Necronomicon

by Tom Smith



As an aside, do you have any idea how MANY different posters there are for Evil Dead 2? All of them!


We were dumb college students and it wasn't prudent
To spend the weekend in the woods,
But we found this cabin and we started havin
The very best time that we could
In between our humpin, we stumbled onto somethin
Someone was doin research on,
An old book held together with human leather
That was called the Necronomicon.

Filled with awful languages and rituals,
Things that treated people as victuals,
I wish I’d never seen that face
On the cover of the Necronomicon.

I gotta freaky young lady, had to decapitate-ee,
She said she's gonna swallow my soul,
I had to chop my own damn hand off
‘Cause it wasn't under my control.
I got no more friends, ‘cause they all died,
And I probably won't see the dawn,
And it ain't getting better, gotta fight Henrietta
Sent by the Necronomicon.

Get out before someone else gets fridged,
Aw, dang it, what happened to the bridge?
I wish I’d never seen that face
On the cover of the necronomicon.

I got a lot o’ little nasty white-eyed Deadites
Who’ll possess anyone they can,
I got a genuine S-Mart chainsaw
Where I used to have my right hand.
I got a magic spell to close the gates to hell,
So the demons will all be gone,
But as it opens up a portal, I hear that book chortle --
Man, I hate that Necronomicon.

Me and my Oldsmobile 88
Went back to medieval times -- great,
Gotta close another freakin gate
Opened by the Necronomicon,
Opened by the Necronomi --

Killing all these corpuses delecti
Gotta say Klaatu barada... necktie?
I’m gonna wipe that stupid smirk
Off the cover of the Necronomicon.


released August 8, 2022
Music: "Cover of the Rolling Stone" by Shel Silverstein




Tom Smith Ann Arbor

Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts, minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come. ... more

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