Name: Dangerous Bunnies
Duration: P00H03M22S
Description: Suggested by Mark Bernstein. We had a pleasant lunch, listing as many cartoon rabbits as we could think of. Mark also wrote the last two lines (about the "warrens of doom").

Dangerous Bunnies

by Tom Smith

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about

Suggested by Mark Bernstein. We had a pleasant lunch, listing as many cartoon rabbits as we could think of. Mark also wrote the last two lines (about the "warrens of doom").

lyrics

When I was
Growing up, before I’d play
Outside on every Saturday,
I’d camp before the tube, a box of Frosted Flakes at hand.

A rabbit wearing gloves would get
Into an altercation with
A bull or duck or Elmer Fudd or Yosemite Sam

All of my life I’ve known dangerous bunnies,
Taking notes of all the wacky methods that they use,
All of my life I’ve known dangerous bunnies,
Dangerous bunnies didn't know how to lose,
Dangerous bunnies with a very short fuse.

Then later it intensified,
I saw a film, my brain, it fried,
Called Night Of The Lepus, and it started Dr. McCoy.

I started seeing everywhere
Each savage killer cuddly hare
And they made me a dangerous and paranoid boy

All of my life I’ve known dangerous bunnies,
Fiver, Hazel, kinda nice, but Woundwort made me freak,
All of my life I’ve known dangerous bunnies,
Dangerous bunnies on my TV each week,
Dangerous bunnies made me squeal and shriek.

Bun Bun and Bunnicula, Oswald, Kevin Dewclaw,
Flopsy, Mopsy, Cottontail, and Peter ate a farm,
Captain Carrot and Crusader, Etsy has some dressed as Vader,
Judy Hopps and Ricochet and who framed Roger?

So I’ve grown up a lonely man,
Hunt lagomorphs whene’er I can,
Determined to protect the world from rabbits on the prowl.

Into their hearts I’m striking fear
With all my rabbit-fighting gear
Although these floppy ears and tail just ain’t a cape and cowl.

All of my life I’ve known dangerous bunnies,
Usagi Yojimbo and the one from Holy Grail,
All of my life I’ve known dangerous bunnies,
Dangerous bunnies look so cute and so frail,
Give ‘em one second and your ass they will rail.

All of my life I’ve known dangerous bunnies,
Stabbity and Hoppy, zombie bunnies we exhume,
All of my life I’ve known dangerous bunnies,
Dangerous bunnies make pianos go boom,
Dangerous bunnies in their warrens of doom.

credits

released August 4, 2023
Music: "Dangerous Heroes" by Michael Longcor

Image: Usagi Yojimbo by Stan Sakai (used without permission)

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about

Tom Smith Ann Arbor

Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts, minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come. ... more

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