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Vaccination Tango

from We Don't Talk About Torgo by Tom Smith

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about

Early in 2022, Randy Rainbow came out with a parody of "The Tango: Maureen" from Rent, about the Covid-19 vaccination and the trials and tribulations thereof. As usual, it was an excellent parody.

So good, in fact, that Arwen Rosenbaum wondered if anyone could write a parody of Tom Lehrer's "Masochism Tango" about vaccination.

Ah-yep, someone sure could. And, in fact, I did, BEFORE ever hearing Randy's. It pleases me greatly that, not only did we take completely different directions for the song, we came up with different rhymes for "ivermectin".

lyrics

I ache for your spankings and smacks, dear,
But much more for the touch of your... vax, dear.
Give me that prick, and I won't get sick,
As we dance to the Vaccination Tango.

Let our love be a shield, not a vector,
Say that you'll be my covid protector.
Swear that you’ll stay at least six feet away
As we dance to the Vaccination Tango.

As Fauci planned,
Before you, here I stand,
My card is in my hand --
Couldn't you have made this credit card sized?
-- right from the CDC.

One little poke,
It's not because I'm woke,
I just don't want to croak,
The friggin’ shot is free.

Your heart is hard as Eastwood or Bronson,
That's why I got my Johnson & Johnson.
Moderna’s effect is like Pfizer’s, we checked --
but there's no ivermectin when we tango.

You filled my nose...
With a giant Q-Tip, love,
I can still feel the drip, love,
As my mucus does flow.

From my head to my toes,
I’ve got few side effects, love,
Though I hear that the next, love,
Might for days lay me low.

Your eyes say that nothing is greater
Than not being on a ventilator.
I’ll put on my mask, you need not even ask
As we bask in the Vaccination Tango.

We’ll do this thing
With social distancing
Summer, winter, fall, and spring
With each new variant.

And now and then,
A finger I'll extend,
Check my blood oxygen,
Is at least ninety percent.

Ignore anti-vaxxers and conservatives,
Drinking urine or bleach or preservatives.
We are not jerks, ‘cause we know science works,
As we dance to the Vacci... nation Tango!

credits

from We Don't Talk About Torgo, released May 6, 2022
Music: "Masochism Tango" by Tom Lehrer (public domain)
Suggested by Arwen Rosenbaum

Image is a composite of two public-domain images,
"Dancers Ballroom Tango Silhouette" by Piotr Siedlecki and
"Vaccine Silhouette Hand Infection" by Mohamed Hassan
taken from freeimg.net

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Tom Smith Ann Arbor

Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts, minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come. ... more

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