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Paddle Boat

from We Don't Talk About Torgo by Tom Smith

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This was suggested a long time ago -- literally, years -- by Ricky Lile. The keywords were "fish market", "paddle boats", and "surprise subpoena".

lyrics

Oh, I went down to the fish market in my brand-new paddle boat,
When De Man, he surprised me, wid a subpoena stuck down my throat.
My wife said I was lazy, and she wanted a divorce,
She wanted half my money, and de paddle boat, of course.

I said,
You can take de money,
You can take my leather coat,
You can take de house, you dirty louse,
But you don' get de paddle boat.

So I went down to de courthouse, and de judge, he say, "My friend,
Jus' hand over de boat, now, and dis whole sad thing will end."
I said, "Judge, I can't do it -- it'll never work, because
It's a smoother, better, quieter ride den my wife ever was."

I said,
You can take de children,
You can take my blue-ribbon stoat,
You can take de car, an' my old guitar,
But you don't get de paddle boat.

You can take everything I got,
You can leave me desti-tote,
Den just go away, I will be okay,
Long as I got de paddle boat.

Just go away, I will be okay,
Long as I got de paddle boat!

credits

from We Don't Talk About Torgo, released May 6, 2022

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Tom Smith Ann Arbor

Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts, minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come. ... more

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