by Tom Smith



Pretty self-explanatory, actually. NSFW.


Look at all the titties, from the huge to itty bitty,
But they're all so very pretty, know what I mean?
And it’s really quite a shocker that some prudish cockblockers
Think that bosoms and knockers are obscene.

They’re lovely and they’re awful fun to play with,
Just treat them with politeness and aplomb,
And here’s a thought you’re prob’ly not okay with,
The first boobs you ever saw belonged to your mom.

So if you see a lady feed her baby in a stadium
Or shopping mall or park, don’t sweat a thing,
It’s only someone doin’ something ord’nary and human
And “obscene” is in your mind, not in the thing.

Look at all the guys, you know, it’s awfully surprising
How some are makin’ eyes at other dudes,
They’re long and lean and lanky, and their tops are tight and tanky,
And they’re hardly ever skanky or rude.

They’re the same guys that women find attractive,
So why wouldn’t other guys as well?
But some people get overreactive,
Like yelling that they’re all going to Hell.

Leave ‘em be and they’ll respect you and their cooties won’t infect you
They’d romantically reject you, sad but true.
And they aren’t trying to shove it down your throat, it’s who they love,
And “obscene” is what you think, not what they do.

Some people think rock music’s from the Devil,
They thought that about jazz and ragtime too,
If you think that, I’ll tell you on the level --
The problem’s not the music but you.

Look at all the guns, the ratio is more than one
To one for every person in the USA.
It’s said that they’re protection against crime or insurrection
But it’s really an infection in our DNA

Some people hunt for food, some find them thrilling,
Some people feel secure when they’re at hand,
But all they’re really good for is killing,
At least you could admit that that’s the plan.

So if you’re wearing camo and you’ve got the guns and ammo
And you’re ready to survive off the grid,
Remind yourself who’s died through mistakes or suicide,
And “obscene” is guns are worth more than our kids.


released August 10, 2016
Illustration by Chavah Billin ( chavahbillin.blogspot.com/2015/07/open-carry-guns-vs-boobs.html ). Used without permission. Copyright remains with the copyright holder; no challenge to copyright is implied nor should be construed.




Tom Smith Ann Arbor

Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts, minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come. ... more

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