We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Coulson Lives

from In Concert: MarCon 2013 by Tom Smith

/

about

The original title, kinda, was "One For The Fangirls". They were correct all along.

lyrics

Coulson Lives!
That’s the Avengers fangirls’ song,
Coulson lives,
Even Whedon got it wrong,
Loki stabbed him through the chest with that big knife,
But somehow it managed not to take his life.

Coulson lives,
SHIELD’s medics were in time,
Coulson lives,
If they weren’t, t’would be a crime,
It turned out that Loki only stabbed a Coulson LMD,
Doing roughly the same damage as an arrow in the knee,
Plus he’s routing WiFi right through Loki’s shiv,
Coulson lives!

Coulson lives!
That’s the fangirls’ solemn creed,
Coulson lives,
For his presence there’s much need,
Captain Rogers must sign Phil’s trading card stash,
Not to mention all that Barton/Coulson slash.

Loki was pwned,
All he impaled was thin air,
Phil was cloned,
Or he wasn’t even there,
He’s in Portland with that cellist, or in Bangkok or Beirut,
He’s like Carmen San Diego with a better looking suit
We could throw him off a hundred thousand cliffs,
Coulson lives!

Coulson lives,
He was gone but he’s returned,
He was fragged,
But another life he’s earned,
Reincarnated, or brain stored in a jar,
Or his voice will play through Tony Stark’s new car,

He’ll come back, as Grey Phoenix one fine dawn,
Or as SHIELD’s top-ranked Zombie liaison,
Maybe he rules some dimension filled with fantasy cliches.
Hey, Galactus goes through heralds like Pete Parker through Aunt Mays
So if you see all that fic and say, “What gives?”
Coulson lives!

credits

from In Concert: MarCon 2013, released August 20, 2013
Music: "Be Prepared" by Tom Lehrer

license

tags

about

Tom Smith image

Tom Smith Ann Arbor

Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts, minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come. ... more

contact / help

Contact Tom Smith

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Redeem code

Report this track or account

If you like Tom Smith, you may also like:

Bandcamp Daily  your guide to the world of Bandcamp

On Bandcamp Radio

Featuring Riley Pinkerton (aka The Rat Queen) from the theatrical NYC rockers, Castle Rat.
listen now