Immediate download of On The PC in your choice of 320k mp3, FLAC, or just about any other format you could possibly desire. Also, if you buy it here, the money actually goes to Tom. :)
This was written for ChiCon, the 1991 World Science Fiction Convention, and is still pretty popular... if way, way out of date. Heck, the Commodore Amiga was still kind of a player at that point. See the next track, "PC99", for an upgrade.
lyrics
The source code is always cleaner on somebody else's drive.
You dream about each new upgrade, without which you must survive.
You're not a registered user, you're more of a pirate bold,
You got no support or manuals for software that's four years old.
On the PC, on the PC,
There is no viler shell or compiler than one that's free,
If you want to ease your awful pain,
Then you got to stick with public domain,
But bootleg the disk and
You're living risky
On the PC.
The IBM folk is snooty, they got Super VGA.
The Macintosh folk ain't snooty, Amiga blows them away.
But Macintosh folk is lucky, Big Blue got a worser fate:
Keeping everything compatible - down to Eighty-Eighty-Eight.
Oh, God!
On the PC, on the PC,
Companies bloat us with templates for Lotus One, Two and Three,
Microsoft runs at a snail's pace,
And we all know why the call it "d-Base,"
But the worst vice is,
Look at the prices
For the PC, so you stole with glee,
Disks unprotected -- now you're infected virally.
If you'd paid the bucks, you'd be secure,
Now your whole collection you've got to cure,
Rip out your hair and
Call the repairman
For the PC.
There's fuzz in the SCSI, lint in the print,
The modem, she owe them a lot down at Sprint,
The optical drive is coming alive,
And spits out the CD-Rom.
The cable's too short for the parallel port,
One click of the mouse begins full abort,
The disks burn to ash, the system will crash,
And hear that hard drive BOMB!
(Chorus chords, played as instrumental; look deadpan at the audience and say, "Loading final chorus -- please wait")
Dump your PC, dump your PC,
Buy an Amiga, even a Sega does more for me,
Buddy, your computer really stinks,
You could get more power out of a Lynx,
Go on safari,
Find an Atari,
Dump your PC.
It's a big-name toy,
Up there with Game-Boy,
Dump your PC.
Macintosh Plusses
Crash all their busses.
Bald guys in crew-necks
All turn to Unix,
PS/2 can't, man --
It's just a Plant Stand,
Dump your PC!
credits
from Debasement Tapes,
released May 25, 1999
Words: Tom Smith, after Howard Ashman
Music: "Under the Sea" by Alan Menken
Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts,
minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come....more
Alexander James Adams "The Blue Rose Rare and Other Faerie Tales" is an excellent album. With songs retelling a variety of myths and faerie tales, each song is both very fun to listen to, fits well together as an album, and is distinct from the rest of the album. Brownie Dan especially stuck out to me, both in terms of just being a really fun song musically and in terms of the lyrics being delightful.
Definitely worth a listen, and thank you for a wonderful album. Kamani
This is just HILARIOUS
Everyone on it gave such an AMAZING performance
and Kevin's final appearance? Took me completly by surprise *cheff kiss* MarlaHectic
Robins decided to release the recording of his 2016 comedy tour during the Covid-19 shutdown at the behest of fans. Bandcamp New & Notable May 29, 2020
Comedian Chris Gethard’s hilarious new surprise album is devoted to the great state of New Jersey, and the great state of New Jersey alone. Bandcamp New & Notable Dec 18, 2019
Spooky as HELL AND LOVING IT
And I love that they included different actors playing the poor doomed intern...It just comes to show how the very same script is unique in every performance and every single person on the role MarlaHectic