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(Will You) Just Shut Up

from Arrivederci 2020 by Tom Smith

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Last night was the newest incarnation of the Mistake by the Lake, as Donald Trump attempted to change into his rabid moose animagus form on top of Chris Wallace and Joe Biden. I couldn't get to sleep until I had this song.

lyrics

I’m watching these three guys debate, about our next four years,
Wondering who might end the hate, give hope, and quell our fears,
But one can't get a word in edgewise saying what he'd do,
One hapless moderator, and one monkey flingin’ poo.

Will you just shut up, Donald, please just go away,
There's nothing you can do and there's nothing you can say
To make us think you might turn presidential any day,
Look, just shut up, man, Donald, go away.

When the moderator asks a question, trying to get a fact,
Don keeps on interrupting, and his answer don't mean jack.
Then they try to switch to Biden, but, just like he does with laws,
Don fills the skies with endless lies and keeps flapping his jaws.

Will you just shut up, Donald, please just go away,
There's nothing you can do and there's nothing you can say
If you can't keep to the rules, we don't have to let you play,
Look, just shut up, man, Donald, go away.

Now you may not believe it, but some people want to hear
What policies you’re planning to pursue,
But all we got tonight was crazy screaming in our ear,
And all you want to talk about is you.

Two hundred thousand dead, and twenty million unemployed
Just might be something that you could discuss,
But like responsibility, you keep trying to avoid
The fact that we don't work for you -- you Work. For. Us.

You said you’d make us great again, but never told us how,
And I don't think you have an answer for us even now,
But I must say, I think that your debating style is flawed,
So get out of the White House so we can jail your ass for fraud.

Will you just shut up, Donald, please just go away,
We’re trying to bring back truth and justice and the American way.
And history will look back on you with loathing and dismay,
Look, just shut up, man, Donald --

Will you just shut up, Donald, please just go away,
You make the country uglier with every passing day,
You keep trying to divide us, but United we will stay,
Look, just shut up, man, Donald, go away.
Will you shut up, man? Donald, go away.

credits

from Arrivederci 2020, released August 28, 2021
Photograph: Patrick Semansky of the Associated Press; used without permission.

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Tom Smith Ann Arbor

Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts, minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come. ... more

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