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The United States government is doing everything it can to make torture, indefinite imprisonment, and trials based on secret evidence legal.

This is beyond appalling; this is un-American. The people who are behind this -- and we're talking the former President, Vice President, Attorney General, Secretary of State, and a sizable contingent of both houses of Congress, not to mention members of the current Administration -- are, to my mind, at the very least traitors to their oaths to defend and protect the Constitution. At the very most, they're war criminals trying to cover their sorry asses.

But, what the hey -- Rush Limbaugh said Guantanamo Bay was a pretty good vacation spot. Let's have one last bit of summer fun!

lyrics

Hey, Waterboardin'!
Hey, Waterboardin'!
We've got a lot goin' on in the Middle East
An illegal invasion, one more planned, at least
Homeland Security is a joke
The War on Terror's gonna leave us broke
The country's headed down the road to ruin,
But let's go do what all the kids are doin',
Waterboardin'!

So
Grab your boards and come on 'round,
Grab the nearest guy that's brown,
Tie him up and hose him down,
We're gonna make him think he'll drown,
It used to be inhuman and cruel,
But the Attorney General says it's really cool,
Waterboardin'!

They're waxin' up the boards out at Abu Ghraib (Hey, Waterboardin'!)
And Guantanamo Bay is gonna catch the wave (Hey, Waterboardin'!)
There's other places I could tell you about (Hey, Waterboardin'!)
But the Boarder In Chief won't let the secret out (Hey, Waterboardin'!)
It's not like that many people are dying,
Imagine if we were REALLY trying,
Waterboardin'!

So
Raise his feet up above his head
Put a towel on his face, cover up the dread
Pour water on it till he thinks he's dead
And be sure to write down anything he said
He'll say what you want, but that only shows
You were right in your suspicion 'bout what he knows,
Waterboardin'!

Now the detainees are really scum,
Bush said "Bring it on", and they had to come,
We'll never understand why they're so mean
But we sure know how to make them come clean!

They hate our freedoms, well, that's okay (Hey, Waterboardin'!)
'Cause we weren't gonna give 'em to 'em anyway (Hey, Waterboardin'!)
Don't let the apologists make a fuss (Hey, Waterboardin'!)
'Cause the terrorists wouldn't dare do it to us. (Hey, Waterboardin'!)
Let's make the detainees feel involved,
And if they really drown, well, problem solved,
Who cares if Democracy is dissolved,
Waterboardin'!

So
We'll take away your rights in the name of fear
You'll forget about it within a year
You know it can never happen here
Unless we think you're liberal, Muslim, or queer
You've nothing to worry 'bout unless you've tried
To make a phone call or take an airplane ride,
Or if we think there's a place we can safely hide
Waterboardin'!

America's finally come undone,
Looks like the terrorists finally won,
And the biggest is the son of Forty-One,
Waterboardin'!

credits

from iTom 1​.​0: And So It Begins, released October 26, 2006

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Tom Smith Ann Arbor

Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts, minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come. ... more

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