Back in October 2015, someone on Facebook mentioned pseudo science. I know they were thinking astrology or creationism or something like that, but I immediately thought of all the various doomsday predictions over the years. One of 'em has to come true eventually, right?
When you're lonely and forgotten,
When you've lost your very last friend...
When everything just seems rotten,
At least you know the world will end....
There's apocalypse coming right around the corner,
In accordance with the ancient prophecies,
Don't bother with that flat tire, 'cause the world will end in fire,
With an impending plague of locusts, why treat the dog for ticks and fleas?
There's apocalypse coming in a week or three now,
Global warming will be solved in one big boom,
Don't believe that things evolve? No worries, problem solved!
Just pull up a chair and enjoy our planet's doom!
Science says we're polluting ourselves to death, now,
Climate change has got us trapped -- sure, it’s too hot.
But don’t you worry about drawing your last breath, now,
Because maybe you’ll get Raptured... maybe not.
It's time for pestilence, death, and war and famine,
And the Beast will leave Perdition, just for laughs,
Will a meteor impact us? Will we be eaten by Galactus?
It almost doesn't matter, might as well kill the fatted calfs*!
When the signs and portents all are in convergence
When the stars and planets finally align,
When the devil drags you below, I'll say, "I told you so",
It’s the end of the world as we know it, it’s your last chance so don’t blow it,
It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine!
* Yes, I know the word is "calves". Tryin' to rhyme here.
Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts,
minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come....more