We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

The Rise and Fall of Sir Wilfred P. Huffelbaggins III

from The Last Hero On Earth by Tom Smith

/

lyrics

SIR WILFRED
I will not be imprisoned with the ordinary rabble,
I am Sir Wilfred P. Huffelbaggins,
The Third,
I've no loyalty or love to those buffoons within my cabal,
It's no time for delay or lollygagging --

WAFFLE
My word!

SIR WILFRED
Gaah! The Waffle!

WAFFLE
You're the fellow who attacked me with this
Robot, which then sent me
A million light-years from my planet!

SIR WILFRED
Get away!

WAFFLE
But now I've got the controls, and I was
Wondering if it went the other
Way if I reverse and then I jam it?

SIR WILFRED
NOOO --

[zapped, gone]

SIR WILFRED
-- GUH! What -- where --

PIRATES
Yo ho! On we go!
Way hey! All the way!
Yo ho! On with the show!
Way hey! A slaughter today!

SIR WILFRED
Ahoy! Ahoy there!

PIRATE CAPTAIN
Look, mates! Another one!
And who be ye?

SIR WILFRED
I am Sir Wilfred P. Huffelbaggins the Third!

PIRATES
You believe it? 'Ere, he's royalty! Now what's the chance? Absurd!

PIRATE CAPTAIN
Well, I wonder if she'd like ya deep-fried, scrambled, poached, or shirred....

[huge nasty beast gurgles from Sis Boom Ba]

credits

from The Last Hero On Earth, released May 26, 2006

license

tags

about

Tom Smith Ann Arbor

Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts, minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come. ... more

contact / help

Contact Tom Smith

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Redeem code

Report this track or account

If you like Tom Smith, you may also like: