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Tears of the Kill​-​O​-​Tron

from The Last Hero On Earth by Tom Smith

/

lyrics

WAFFLE
Oh, great. A robot. Looks pretty strong.
Don't know if I can avoid it for long --

KILL-O-TRON
SURRENDER NOW, HUMAN, YOU HAVEN'T A HOPE,
I CAN FOLLOW YOU ON MY U.V. AND INFRARED SCOPE.
I'VE LOCKED ONTO YOUR GENE CODE, THE WAVELENGTHS OF YOUR BRAIN,
PLEASE, I'VE NO WISH TO CAUSE YOU GRATUITOUS PAIN.

WAFFLE
... What the heck kinda robot are you?

KILL-O-TRON
I'M THE PROTOTYPE OF EVERYTHING MY MASTER HAS CREATED,
AND I THINK HE DID TOO GOOD A JOB ON ME.
I'M THE FIRST ROBOT WITH FEELINGS, I HAVE LOVED AND I HAVE HATED,
BUT WITH QUANTUM HYPERSENSITIVITY.

I WAS MADE FOR ACTS OF EVIL, AND IT BREAKS MY METAL HEART,
KNOWING THAT I MUST OBEY HIS EVERY WHIM.
BUT HE CRAFTED ME MOST CAREFULLY, SCRATCH-MAKING EVERY PART,
LIKE THIS CIRCUIT WHICH MAKES ME A SLAVE OF HIM.
HINT, HINT.

SO I TRULY DO REGRET IT, BUT IT'S TIME THAT I DESTROY YOU,
MAKE YOUR PEACE NOW WITH WHATEVER YOU BELIEVE,
BUT I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND THIS ISN'T SOMETHING I ENJOY, YOU
SEEM A DECENT SORT, AND SO FOR YOU I'LL GRIEVE.

[*CRUNCH*]

WAFFLE
Ha! Got the circuit!

KILL-O-TRON
INDEED. JUST ONE NANOSECOND TOO LATE. SORRY.

[zapped, gone]

[huge vortex sound]

credits

from The Last Hero On Earth, released May 26, 2006

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Tom Smith Ann Arbor

Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts, minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come. ... more

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