Immediate download of Superman Sex Life Boogie in your choice of 320k mp3, FLAC, or just about any other format you could possibly desire. Also, if you buy it here, the money actually goes to Tom. :)
The first non-parody I wrote that I thought was good, this was inspired by Larry Niven's hilarious essay "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex", documenting possible methods of perpetuating the Kryptonian humanoid species without having Clark molest Supergirl. (Youngsters: There used to be a Supergirl who was Superman's cousin, not the amorphous blob who can shape-shift to a blonde babe. She was even worse than the current one, and being worse than a super-submissive who falls in love with Lex Luthor is quite an accomplishment.) The essay deliberately avoids the psychological issues, which this song runs at and body-slams. Mr. Niven, one of the very few truly all-time greats of science fiction, sang this song with me on stage (at PhilCon, Philadelphia 1994), which I think counts as a Life Highlight.
lyrics
Well, I'm a small-town boy with a heart of gold,
Not to mention heat vision and breath that's cold,
I've got super strength, I'm immune to pain,
But I'm weak in the knees around Lois Lane.
She's got a sexy walk, and the bluest eyes;
Her clothes are all painted onto her thighs.
She's got great taste, so I just don't see
Why she's in love with my costume, but not with me.
I can change the course of rivers, bend steel in my bare hands,
But none of that hokey macho stuff makes me feel any more like a man.
I'm faster than a speeding bullet, I'm tougher than a moving train,
But why leap a tall building in a single bound,
When I'd rather jump Lois Lane.
Well, I'm a nice, easy-going kind of guy,
I've got mild manners and my wit is dry,
But it doesn't ever seem to matter what I say,
'Cause Lois never gives me the time of day.
But when I fly the city in my blue and red,
She'd risk the whole world just to get me to bed,
But that's not the way I want to let her get my bod,
It's not making love, it's seducing God.
I've told her a thousand times, we can never risk normal sex.
If I lose control, we could get David Cronenberg to do the special effects,
I'm faster than a speeding bullet, I'm tougher than a moving train,
But why leap a tall building in a single bound,
When I'd rather jump Lois Lane.
Well, I'm sick of all the supervillains poking fun,
Just because I'm still a virgin at age thirty-one.
I don't like the names that I'm being called,
I couldn't care if Lex Luthor's always been more... bald.
I'd love to let Lois know the way I feel,
To let her know the man underneath the steel,
But she doesn't want to have a thing to do with me
Unless I'm out bashing baddies in my Bee Vee Dees.
I've had it with the hero biz, frustration has got me down.
Why should I bother with saving the city when I'd rather be painting the town?
I'm faster than a speeding bullet, I'm tougher than a moving train,
But I'd throw it all away in a minute if I
Could just once get the jump on Lane.
Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts,
minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come....more
supported by 10 fans who also own “Superman Sex Life Boogie”
Alexander James Adams "The Blue Rose Rare and Other Faerie Tales" is an excellent album. With songs retelling a variety of myths and faerie tales, each song is both very fun to listen to, fits well together as an album, and is distinct from the rest of the album. Brownie Dan especially stuck out to me, both in terms of just being a really fun song musically and in terms of the lyrics being delightful.
Definitely worth a listen, and thank you for a wonderful album. Kamani
supported by 10 fans who also own “Superman Sex Life Boogie”
It's a bawdy album for a modern age of woman (& man, & neither/both!). It hearkens to the Baltimore Consorts albums of Bawdy Song, which are nearly lost in the age of streaming, but the Misbehavin' Maidens use language a 21st century lass can understand easily! cecilia-sings-poorly
Robins decided to release the recording of his 2016 comedy tour during the Covid-19 shutdown at the behest of fans. Bandcamp New & Notable May 29, 2020
Comedian Chris Gethard’s hilarious new surprise album is devoted to the great state of New Jersey, and the great state of New Jersey alone. Bandcamp New & Notable Dec 18, 2019