Sunscreen On My Eyeballs

from For Your Confustication by Tom Smith

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about

We just had a total solar eclipse of the sun.
And there were numerous reports of people injured, not by looking directly at it... but by applying sunscreen directly to their own eyes.

I'd say I got nothin'... but I got this.

lyrics

Sunscreen on my eyeballs for the eclipse,
Sunscreen on my eyes has made me blind,
Wasted all my money on these glasses,
Tasting Coppertone, while I sit and whine.

If I had a brain, I woulda used it,
Not be dancin' round, each breath a scream,
Put down the spray can, not abused it,
Next time, I'll apply it as a creme.

Sunscreen on my eyeballs at the E.R.
"Sunscreen on my eyes" I shout and cry,
They can't fill out my forms because they're laughing
Sunscreen on my eyes, wish I could die.

If I had a tale that I could tell you,
I'd tell a tale Devo Spice would love, no doubt.
(Friend of mine. His podcast has a feature called News Of The Stupid.)
If I had a wish that I could wish right now,
I'd wish I had a spoon to scoop them out.

Sunscreen on my eyeballs for the eclipse,
Okay, that was stupid, but now I know the score.
The doc says in seven years I should recover,
Just in time for the one in 2024.
Vaseline Healthy White, SPF 24.

credits

from For Your Confustication, released September 19, 2017
Music: "Sunshine On My Shoulders" by John Denver, Dick Kniss, and Mike Taylor

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Tom Smith Ann Arbor

Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts, minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come. ... more

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