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Scrambled Eggs

from Arrivederci 2020 by Tom Smith

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Okay, this one isn't entirely new. I wrote the first part eleven years ago. I can't remember exactly why; I can only presume I'd seen something on the writing of the original, where Paul McCartney used "scrambled eggs" as a fill-in phrase to keep the rhythm until he decided what the song was about, and said to myself, "Hey! I'll write that one."

Of course, as I was arranging this, I suddenly realized I needed another bridge and verse. So that last part is brand new.

lyrics

Scrambled eggs,
Maybe lager that's been kept in kegs,
I guess that's the question that it begs,
What have I got that goes with eggs?

Marmalade,
On the English muffin I just made,
And I'll wash it down with Gatorade,
Eggs scrambled, not shirred or souffleed.

White cheese had too low
Annato, it just looked grey,
I shred something strong,
Now I long for curds and whey.

Scrambled eggs,
And the coffee's down to bitter dregs,
Without caffeine I can't feel my legs,
I'll just make do with scrambled eggs.

I’d like Benedict,
Nicely poached with Hollandaise.
But I don’t know the trick,
Got it wrong, it smelled for days.

I can’t cook eggs,
All attempts are like Egyptian plagues,
Future efforts I hereby reneg,
Oh, IHop, please make scrambled eggs.

credits

from Arrivederci 2020, released August 28, 2021
Music: "Yesterday" by John Lennon & Paul McCartney

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Tom Smith Ann Arbor

Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts, minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come. ... more

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