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Please Get Well, Mister President

from Arrivederci 2020 by Tom Smith

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Amazing, innit -- some songs are timeless; others have a very distinct shelf life. Political satire? minutes. I should have had this ready by October 10. It could have been THE biting satire of the moment. As it is? Ancient artifact. Blow the dust off the sucker and give it a listen.

lyrics

You’ve been calling the corona virus... a hoax all year
Told everybody not to wear a mask... not to live in fear
Since then two hundred thousand gone... you won't take the blame
and now you tell us that you’ve got it, too... oh what a shame

Please get well, Mister President,
This is not the way for you to go,
This virus is so nasty, it takes you so darn fast, we’d
(rather) have the justice system take you slow
Please get well, Don and Melania,
Also thinking good thoughts for Mike Pence.
We want you strong and healthy when all your evil wealthy
Cronies start turning state’s evidence

Any other president would get... the nation’s sympathy
But you’ve told us so many lies... we're gonna have to wait and see
Have you gone into quarantine... the infection for to stop,
Or are you trying to bail on the debates... ‘cause you can't help going
Way the hell over the top

Please get well, Mister President,
I sincerely don't want you to be sick.
Despite the evil I’m seeing, you’re still a human being,
And no matter how hard I try, I can't be that much of a dick.
Please get well, because we need you,
You’ve shown us the Republicans’ true face,
It’s longer and it's harder, but we don’t want you a martyr,
We’d prefer you get imprisoned in disgrace.

Sure you’ve grabbed the headlines for today, I bet that's really fun.
Meanwhile, don't think that we’ve forgotten everything you’ve done:
The first debate, where you were like an abusive raging drunk,
Telling lies about the Bidens that have been debunked.

You called our veterans losers and suckers ‘cause they served,
And keep implying shot protesters got what they deserved,
You blamed the fires of California on the people there,
When most are on the federal lands that should be in your care.

You keep on saying vote-by mail is somehow rife with fraud,
You say the covid scientists use research that is flawed,
You even ragged on Biden ‘cause he always wears a mask
Though Biden doesn't have the bug that's knocked you on your ass.

The New York Times got your returns and everything looks funny,
You pay so little tax because your businesses lose money,
You’re ramming through a Supreme Court justice, that takes lots of cheek,
And that's just all the stuff I could remember from this week.

You came out of quarantine... a smile upon your face
Saved by hydroxychloroquine... doctors said you were the perfect case
Now it's time to open up the country... schools, sports and malls, no fuss
Gotta work on that herd mentality... after all, a
Business making money’s more important than us

Please get well, Mister President,
You have to get over this plague,
There's a dream I hope to get, you in an oubliette,
Somewhere in the basement of the Hague.
Please get well, Mister President,
Imagine those nice headlines when you choose
To uphold our tradition... of a peaceful transition
Of power to Joe Biden when you lose.

Please get well, Mister President,
I can't wait to see your face when you lose.

credits

from Arrivederci 2020, released August 28, 2021

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Tom Smith Ann Arbor

Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts, minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come. ... more

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