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Kitsune and the Master of Zen

from Sins of Commission by Tom Smith

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David Kircher
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Eric Karpierz
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ecsed
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about

Explaining this could take a week. Shortest version: She wanted a gift song to the tune of "The Twa Magicians", and they've had interesting lives

lyrics

Kitsune stood upon the road, her tail full and high,
By there come a Wanderer, a grain sack at his thigh.
"Why do you sit there, lady fair, all in your fur of red?
By Chan, tomorrow dawn I swear I'll have your maidenhead."

Oh, bide, lady, bide, there's nowhere you can hide,
For you've met the Buddha on the road and he will have your pride.

"Away, away, you Wanderer, from far across the sea,
You only think you master Zen, you shall not master me.
I'd rather lie in oceans cold, a-weighted down with rocks,
And so I say, by Danny Kaye, you'll never outfox the Fox."

Oh, bide, lady, bide, there's nowhere you can hide,
For you've met the Buddha on the road and he will have your pride.

So Kitsune, she put up her hand, and swore upon the sun,
That he'd not have her maidenhead by the time the day was done.
And the Wanderer, he put up his head, and swore by Benzaiten,
That he would have her maidenhead, then have it once again.

Oh, bide, lady, bide, there's nowhere you can hide,
For you've met the Buddha on the road and he will have your pride.

So Kitsune, she became a fox, with feral teeth and claws,
But he's become a hunting hound, and trapped her in his jaws.
And, Kitsune, she's become a bird, a-flying on the wind,
But he's become a summer breeze and blew her back again.

Oh, bide, lady, bide, there's nowhere you can hide,
For you've met the Buddha on the road and he will have your pride.

And Kitsune, she's become a stone, and on the ground she set,
But he's become a river, and she's covered, deep and wet.
And Kitsune, she's become a tree, with strong limbs to and fro,
But he's become an axeman, and his tool has laid her low.

Oh, bide, lady, bide, there's nowhere you can hide,
For you've met the Buddha on the road and he will have your pride.

And Kitsune became a Scia scabbard, gleaming, black and gilt,
But he's become a katana, sheathed inside her to the hilt.
And she realized, to her chagrin, the limits of her lore,
So she reached out to her faerie kin for choices more and more.

Oh, bide, lady, bide, there's nowhere you can hide,
For you've met the Buddha on the road and he will have your pride.

And Kitsune changed into a satyr, with fleece all thick and black,
But he's become a bottle of wine, and had her on her back.
And Kitsune became a fairie dragon, color, scales, and fire,
But he's become a lava bed, to stoke her ever higher.

Oh, bide, lady, bide, there's nowhere you can hide,
For you've met the Buddha on the road and he will have your pride.

And the Wanderer chased her all the day, and into the night so late,
And every change Kitsune made, the wanderer was its mate.

Oh, bide, lady, bide, there's nowhere you can hide,
For you've met the Buddha on the road and he will have your pride.

The the lady stopped and turned and said, "The game I will concede,
For none would chase me for so long for simple, foolish need.
And none has ever sought for me with a passion like your own,
If you promise that you'll love me, you'll never be alone."

Oh, bide, lady, bide, there's nowhere you can hide,
For you've met the Buddha on the road and he will have your pride.

And the Wanderer said, "There's never been a prize more worth the race,
But I must admit I'm glad we've stopped, I can't keep up this pace."
And Kitsune and her Wanderer have traveled far and wide,
For she met the Buddha on the road, and both of them swallowed their pride.

credits

from Sins of Commission, released March 17, 2006
Music: "The Twa Magicians" (Trad.)

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Tom Smith Ann Arbor

Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts, minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come. ... more

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