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I'm On Firefly

from In Concert: Sasquan 2015 by Tom Smith

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If you don't know Firefly, welcome to the Whedonverse. Joss Whedon, who also gave us Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, and Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, created a short-lived space Western... except all of the cliches got turned around, mangled, stomped on, and retooled for a new millennium. And there's only the one season and the sequel movie on DVD, so it won't take you long to catch up, so why don't you?

lyrics

Well, I'm the captain, Mal, my wit is dry,
I may never be a success, but I'm gonna try,
I live by one law: Murphy's -- and you know why, yay-hey,
I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly.
Yada-dah-dah-dah-dah....

Well, I'm the first mate, Zoe, I always survive,
Like my career after Cleopatra 2525.
I'm the hottie who'll kick your ass, and you know why, yay-hey,
I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly.
Yada-dah-dah-dah-dah....

I'm Zoe's husband Wash, I'm one lucky guy,
I'm also the pilot, so shut up and let me fly,
I'm the comic relief on the wind, and you know why, yay-hey,
I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly.
Yada-dah-dah-dah-dah....

I'm Jayne, the hero of Canton, I'm one studly guy,
Don't get on my bad side, or you're gonna die,
Oh yeah -- I don't have a good side, and you know why, yay-hey,
I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly.
Yada-dah-dah-dah-dah....

I'm Kaylee the engineer, I know what to do,
I'm the oversexed grease monkey snarky savant Mary Sue,
I'm in lust with Simple Simon, and you know why, yay-hey,
I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly.
Yada-dah-dah-dah-dah....

I'm Simon, the doctor, and Jayne gets on my nerves,
If he doesn't shut up, I'll make sure he gets what he deserves:
I'll lock him in a room with my sister, and you know why, yay-hey,
I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly.
Yada-dah-dah-dah-dah....

I'm River...
I think...
There's a 29.22% chance that this verse won't scan,
But rewriting it in iambic -- oooh, dancing!

I'm Inara, the Companion, in love with Mal -- who knows why,
He always calls me a whore, I guess he's shy --
And nothing will ever happen, 'cause so am I, yay-hey,
I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly.
Yada-dah-dah-dah-dah...

I'm Shepherd Book, the token... religious guy,
I've got a great left hook and I think like a spy.
All that Barney Miller paid off, and you know why, yay-hey,
I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly.
Yada-dah-dah-dah-dah....

Well, I'm Joss Whedon, the creator, yeah, that's me,
The only one to compare is J. Michael Straczynski.
I thank you all for watching Serenity, yay-hey,
Buy my DVD, buy my DVD -- I work for Disney!?
Yada-dah-dah-dah-dah....

I'm Brannon Braga, and I'm the Star Trek guy,
Forty years of franchise, we almost kissed it goodbye,
Joss got it right in one -- I hate that guy, yay-hey,
He did Firefly, he did Firefly, he did Firefly.
Yada-dah-dah-dah-dah....

Well, now this song is done, time to say goodbye,
It's been a lot of fun, but I've gotta fly,
I've set aside fifteen hours, and you know why, yay-hey,
To watch Firefly, to watch Firefly, to watch Firefly.
Yada-dah-dah-dah-dah....

Firefly for a white guy!

credits

from In Concert: Sasquan 2015, released August 9, 2016
Music: "Because I Got High" by J. Foreman

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Tom Smith Ann Arbor

Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts, minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come. ... more

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