Immediate download of I Had A Shoggoth in your choice of 320k mp3, FLAC, or just about any other format you could possibly desire. Also, if you buy it here, the money actually goes to Tom. :)
Another children's song, of the repeating-and-building-chorus variety. To be specific, a parody of the traditional song "I Had A Cat/I Bought Me A Cat". Just... the songs you usually have, with kitties and duckies and puppies, simply aren't up to the task of raising our kids. Don't read the lyrics before listening to it, mmkay? Spoilery and all that. I'll wait.
All done? Good. Now I can mention that a couple of the jokes have evolved, most notably Vader's line in the next-to-last verse. Originally, I had "I have you now", a quote from Star Wars Episode 4. Later it became, "Luke -- you kissed your sister", which is what's on the recording. Nowadays, the line is, "Black goes with everything." The other big change is in the same verse; instead of saying "Avada Kedavra", Tom Riddle says, "Hermione and Ron...?"
lyrics
I had a shoggoth, he pleased me,
But drove me to insanity.
Shoggoth went TEKELI-LI
I had a minion, he pleased me,
Got victims for my laboratory.
Minion went YES, MASTER
Shoggoth went TEKELI-LI
I had a zombie, he pleased me,
With his decaying anatomy.
Zombie went BRAAAINNNZZZ
Minion went YES, MASTER
Shoggoth went TEKELI-LI
I had a werewolf, he pleased me,
Devoured every cat he'd see.
Werewolf went HOWWWWWWL
Zombie went BRAAAINNNZZZ
Minion went YES, MASTER
Shoggoth went TEKELI-LI
I had a mummy, he pleased me,
And taught me Egyptology.
Mummy went MMMMMMMMMMM
Werewolf went HOWWWWWWL
Zombie went BRAAAINNNZZZ
Minion went ABBY SOMEBODY
Shoggoth went TEKELI-LI
I had a hunchback, he pleased me,
Got Esmerelda sanctuary.
Hunchback went THE BELLS
Mummy went MMMMMMMMMMM
Werewolf went HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH
Zombie went BRAAAINNNZZZ
Minion went YES, MASTER
Shoggoth went TEKELI-LI
I had a vampire, he pleased me,
But at my parties he wouldn't drink... tea.
Vampire went GOOD EVEN-ING
Hunchback went THE BELLS
Mummy went MMMM... DONUTS
Werewolf went HOWWWWWWL
Zombie went BRAAAINNNZZZ
Minion went IT'S STILL WARM
Shoggoth went TEKELI-LI
I had an Old One, he pleased me,
In R'lyeh sunk beneath the sea.
Cthulhu went BLUGGA BLUGGA BLUGGA
Vampire went GOOD EVEN-ING
Hunchback went THE BELLS
Mummy went MMMMMMMMMMM
Werewolf went RRUFF RRUFF
Zombie went BRAAAINNNZZZ
Minion went YES, MASTER
Shoggoth went TEKELI-LI
I had a Cylon, he pleased me,
But then he turned into a she.
Cylon went BY YOUR COMMAND
Cthulhu went BLUGGA BLUGGA BLUGGA
Vampire went CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT, SHUT UP!
Hunchback went THE BELLS
Mummy went MMMMMMMMMMM
Werewolf went HOWWWWWWL
Zombie went CHEETOS
Minion went YES, MASTER
Shoggoth went TEKELI-LI
I had a Dalek, he pleased me,
But stairs would make him really cranky.
Dalek went EXTERMINATE
Cylon went BY YOUR COMMAND
Cthulhu went BLUGGA BLUGGA BLUGGA
Vampire went GOOD EVEN-ING
Hunchback went THE BELLS
Mummy went MMMMMMMMMMM
Werewolf went HERE KITTY KITTY
Zombie went BRAAAINNNZZZ
Minion went NOT THE RED ONE!
Shoggoth went TEKELI-LI
I had a Sith Lord, he pleased me,
But I hated his prequel trilogy.
Vader went KHSHHHHH-HHHOSHHHHH
Dalek went EXTERMINATE
Cylon went I FEEL PRETTY
Cthulhu went BLUGGA BLUGGA BLUGGA
Vampire went GOOD EVEN-ING
Hunchback went CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?
Mummy went MMMMMMMMMMM
Werewolf went HOWWWWWWL
Zombie went BRAAAINNNZZZ
Minion went YES, MASTER
Shoggoth went TEKELI-LI
I had a Dark Lord, he pleased me,
But he couldn't beat Harry and Hermione.
Riddle went AVADA KEDAVRA
Vader went LUKE, YOU KISSED YOUR SISTER
Dalek went IT IS NOT A TOILET PLUNGER
Cylon went DOES THIS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?
Cthulhu went PFAGH! Calimari....
Vampire went TWELVE BEAUTIFUL VERSES
Hunchback went OUT THERE....
Mummy went MMMM CHOCOLATE
Werewolf went HOWWWWWWL ME OF LONDON
Zombie went NOT EAT EYES
Minion went WHAT HUMP?
Shoggoth went TEKELI-LI
I had Galactus, he pleased me,
But he ate my planet casually.
Galactus went CHOMP.
Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts,
minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come....more
supported by 6 fans who also own “I Had A Shoggoth”
Alexander James Adams "The Blue Rose Rare and Other Faerie Tales" is an excellent album. With songs retelling a variety of myths and faerie tales, each song is both very fun to listen to, fits well together as an album, and is distinct from the rest of the album. Brownie Dan especially stuck out to me, both in terms of just being a really fun song musically and in terms of the lyrics being delightful.
Definitely worth a listen, and thank you for a wonderful album. Kamani
Robins decided to release the recording of his 2016 comedy tour during the Covid-19 shutdown at the behest of fans. Bandcamp New & Notable May 29, 2020
Comedian Chris Gethard’s hilarious new surprise album is devoted to the great state of New Jersey, and the great state of New Jersey alone. Bandcamp New & Notable Dec 18, 2019