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Hyperspace Cryogenic Insomnia Blues

from Songs of The FuMP, Vol. 1 by Tom Smith

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Space colonists must deep-sleep for a long time. For some of us, this is gonna be a real problem. No "I gotta go!" jokes were used in the making of this song. Coming soon: HCIB, the web comic. No, really.

lyrics

Here I am in hypersleep
Awaiting my awakening,
I'm travelling near the speed of light
To our new colony,
Except I'm trying to figure out
How come I'm still awake when they
Assured me I would be unconscious --
Oh well, must be me.

Maybe I should think about
My S.O. in the next tube over,
How we're gonna celebrate
The day we finally land
Well, actually, that night or maybe
Later 'cause we'll be unpacking
I'll think about that later,
When I can move my hand.

Wish I had a bedtime story
I could read to make me sleep,
One of the Harry Potter books,
Or maybe Dr. Suess
I do not like green eggs and ham,
I do not like them Sam I am,
I do not like them with a goat,
Or a majestic moose.

Mind you, a moose once bit my sister.
How horribly she was attacked,
Moose bites can be pretty nasty
Those responsible have been sacked.

Hey there, NASA, have you heard the news?
I'm awake in my deep freeze, thinkin' bout a stupid moose,
I've got the hyperspace cryogenic insomnia blues.

Hum hum hum hum hm hum hum hum,
Hum hm hum hum hummmm hm hum,
Menahmenah dee dee de dee dee
Menahmenah dee dee de dee
Menahmenah dee dee de dee dee

It's a small world after all,
That's why we left that mudball,
Hypersleeping in free fall
To a new world after all.

Menahmenah dee dee de dee dee
Menahmenah dee dee de dee

Wish I had some NyQuil here,
Or maybe just a keg of beer,
Or my S.O. in something sheer,
Or Salma Hayek, what a rear....

Baby got back,
Baby got back,
Baby got back....

I'm back to the future again,
I hope I'll sleep but I don't know when,
Of course if I wake up too soon,
It's cause we hit some alien moon --
I'm crashed in the spaceship again.

Menahmenah dee dee de dee dee
Menahmenah dee dee de dee

Oh good, I see a status light,
To tell me where we are in flight
We're two weeks out of Terran orbit,
Ten years left to go....

Lesser men would go insane,
But I'm the one who runs this brain --
Don't have to work and not in pain,
I'll be just fine, I know.

Please God, I beg you, let me die,
The solitude is more than I
Can handle for ten minutes,
Let alone a whole decade.

There's no one there to set me free,
And worse than this captivity:
My sweetie's sleeping next to me
And we cannot get laid!

I need you, more than anyone darlin',
But right now I can't even weep,
So suck it up, buttercup -- go back to sleep.


Menahmenah dee dee de dee dee
Menahmenah dee dee de dee....

credits

from Songs of The FuMP, Vol. 1, released January 9, 2008

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Tom Smith Ann Arbor

Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts, minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come. ... more

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