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Honeymoon Tonight

from Ends 'n' Odds by Tom Smith

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Written for friends who were getting hitched, and really did want this sung at the wedding party.

lyrics

Something romantic, something pedantic,
Something for everyone on honeymoon tonight!
His frown's knight-errant, her gown's transparent,
Something for everyone on honeymoon tonight!

No aisle too thin, no train too wide,
That kinda sounds like "Here Comes The Bride".
Rented tuxedo strains with libido,
Get this -- the bride is wearing white,
Tragedy tomorrow! Honeymoon tonight.

Something old and new, and borrowed and blue,
A refurbished "Grover" doll for honeymoon tonight!
Rented horse carriage, your friends say, "Mawwiage,
Dat dweam wiffin a dweam" -- it's honeymoon tonight!

Seeds in your hair, soap on your car,
Thank God the reception hall has a bar.
Tossing the garter, toasting the martyr,
Isn't that "Chicken Dance" a fright?
Tragedy tomorrow, honeymoon tonight!

Lost your hotel room, "You sure you're a groom?
Let's see a driver's license" -- honeymoon tonight!
Champagne together, shackles and leather,
Something for EVERYONE on honeymoon tonight!

She never knew he's into that,
He had no clue why friends call her "Cat"....
Dawn comes too early... you're cramped and surly...
This time, you're gonna get it right!
Married life tomorrow...
Honeymoon, honeymoon, honeymoon, honeymoon, honeymoon --
Tonight!

credits

from Ends 'n' Odds, released April 27, 2010
Music: "Comedy Tonight" by Stephen Sondheim

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Tom Smith Ann Arbor

Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts, minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come. ... more

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