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Fairyland's Bookshop

from We Don't Talk About Torgo by Tom Smith

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about

Another song from the list of suggestions for the never-done 2018 24 Hour Comic Book Day album. Several people suggested things which went together nicely:

Bibliophiles, fire - folk song (Jennifer Gentry)
Dragons, books - swing (Dawn Bennett)
Dragons, kittens - polka (Russell Martens)
Dragons, tea - polka (Lorraine J. Anderson)

lyrics

Come visit Fairyland’s Bookshop with me,
Each day they have tea at a quarter to three.
Fairies and pixies sit down by the fire,
All reading tales to delight and inspire.

A basket of kittens is mewling for more,
And look! There’s a dragon just come through the door,
Wind the Victrola and clear off the floor,
Take care, mind your step, or you’ll wallow in gore....

Dragons are stomping around to the beat,
And kittens are dodging their huge dragon feet,
And nobody cares if the music’s too flat
They only care if there’s a sudden *MEW* s-p-l-a-t.

This was a book store, now it’s a brawl,
There’s carnage and cuteness from wall to wall,
Passers-by pass out and book lovers flee,
Dragons and kittens are dancing at tea.
Dragons and kittens are dancing at tea.

Bugbears are drinking some Oolong with dogs,
Lifting their pinkies while squishing some frogs,
Orcs, trolls, and unicorns, dancing a hora,
Gollum is mad -- asked for cream, got Cremora.

Look at those felines, they’re dazzling and deft,
Avoiding their death while they allemande left,
Have some Darjeeling, the second cup’s free,
Dragons and kittens are dancing at tea.
Dragons and kittens are dancing at tea.

No kitties died in the room where it happened,
The room where it happened,
The room where it happened.
The kitties almost met their doom where it happened,
Entombed where it happened,
But they zoomed where it happened.
No one really knows how they move so fast,
How they manage to last when a dragon comes past,
We just assume that their toes keep tappin’,
No kitties died in the room where it happened.

A kickline of kobolds runs into some elves,
Who were all Morris dancing on top of the shelves,
Some dwarves join the fray, trying to settle a score,
And then come the ogres, and now it’s a war.

They bust through the windows, they riot in the street,
But dragons and kitties, they don’t miss a beat,
They don’t throw off their partners or spill their Earl Grey,
One heck of a way to finish the day.

Now it is time for good kitties to sleep,
While dragons lay dreaming of gold in a heap,
Kidnapping princesses, or storming a keep,
Or maybe just eating a few dozen sheep.

The repair spells work overnight, tomorrow by ten,
Fairyland’s Bookshop will be ready again,
Come down and join us at quarter to three,
For dragons and kittens are dancing at tea.
Dragons and kittens are dancing at tea.

credits

from We Don't Talk About Torgo, track released March 5, 2021
Music by Tom Smith, except a chorus of "The Room Where It Happened" by Lin-Manuel Miranda

Artwork: "Computer Wizard" by Randal Spangler. Used without permission.

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Tom Smith Ann Arbor

Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts, minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come. ... more

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