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Creatures of the Night

from Sins of Commission by Tom Smith

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about

Both of the people in this song do a lot of LARP (Live-Action Role Playing). They wanted references to their mundane jobs, and the far more interesting adventures they've had LARPing.

lyrics

You can find her in the deli at the local Kroger store,
Grilling chicken till she's sure she's going to cluck,
You can find him shlepping packages and parcels door to door,
Smiling, friendly, in his big brown truck.

But that's only in the daylight, for when the sun goes down,
Their transformation's startling and bizarre,
She puts on fancy chainmail, he dons an evening gown,
And they go to where the other LARPers are.

They're part of Shadows of Medieval Nocturne South: The Masquerade,
She's the Queen of all the Raccoons, he's just trying to get laid,
And they only take their fleshy forms until the morning light...
But until then... they're creatures of the night.

The lady and her monster, they met so long ago,
And how it was they fell in love, well, no one seems to know,
But he is her defender, there's no risk he wouldn't take...
In two levels, she gets minions, and he finally get a break.

Their worlds are vast and terrifying, lovely and obscene,
With creatures, plants, and colors mundane folk have never seen,
Wind-up kingdoms, vampire robots, steampunk flapper goths,
Though they really haven't gotten over the Chibi Yog-Sothoth.

They're in the Wildlands Divided By The Dreamscape Of The Kings,
And they're trying to find a real quest, they're sick and tired of rings.
They're feared through all dimensions, and they're looking for a fight...
And they only feel real when they're creatures of the night.

They've faced the prince of demons, and the tentacled dragon horde,
Got drunk with Odin, goosed Cthulhu, tuned the Singing Sword,
Fought a stuffed-bear ninja army, led by schoolgirls doing ballet,
And they're proudest of the time they ripped off Donald Trump's toupee.

You can find them in the daylight, but that's not what they prefer,
For the moment that the sun goes down, they're more than what they were,
The triumphs of a hundred worlds are at their fingertips,
And a thousand secret smiles they share, a-dancing on their lips.

They are in Final Neo Mega Gamma Ultra Tokyo,
And if you told them, pick one genre, then they'd tell you where to go,
The two of them together have a love that's strong and bright...
And they wrap it in their fantasies, as creatures of the night.

credits

from Sins of Commission, released March 17, 2006

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about

Tom Smith Ann Arbor

Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts, minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come. ... more

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