We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Christmas Time In Middle​-​Earth

from Arrivederci 2020 by Tom Smith

supported by
/

about

More than just Middle-Earth, honestly. I was thinking of doing a whole series of holiday songs, but every one basically had one line at best. So, here's for a bunch of media.

lyrics

Christmas Time in Middle Earth is not an actual thing.
No child born in a manger grew up to be Christ the King.
The closest thing is hobbits getting shnockered every Yule,
And if you decorate an Ent, they’ll pound you into gruel.

Christmas time in Westeros is very much the same.
If you don’t like that, George R.R. Martin is to blame.
Christmas time in Narnia is symbolic, girls and boys,
Aslan died, then returned to rule the Isle of Misfit Toys.

District 12 does not have Christmas, only Hunger Games,
The Doctor celebrates by fighting aliens ‘cross the Thames.

Christmas time with Hannibal, you really should avoid --
He decks the tree with the guts of those by whom he is annoyed.
Christmas Time in Arendelle has deep, eternal snow,
Elsa didn’t get a gift and just can’t let it go.

Harry Potter does have Christmas, so does Peter Pan,
But Christmas with the Walking Dead is not in the network’s plan.

I wish you Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday.
I wanted to have new themed songs, but that is not the Way.
Not every realm of fantasy deserves a Christmas song,
Just say “Happy Life Day” to recall what can go wrong.

credits

from Arrivederci 2020, released August 28, 2021

license

tags

about

Tom Smith Ann Arbor

Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts, minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come. ... more

contact / help

Contact Tom Smith

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Redeem code

Report this track or account

If you like Tom Smith, you may also like: