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Inspired by the computer games MAX PAYNE and MAX PAYNE 2 (their gimmick is "bullet time", which slows down the action, all Matrix-y like, so the player can aim better and dodge gunfire)

lyrics

There is a dream / that they try to sell you,
Peaches and cream / but no one'll tell you
That under the gloss / the whole thing is rotten,
And once you get lost / you're gone and forgotten.

Last time I looked / bein' a cop meant
you worked by the book / the law is the fine print
But not around here / it's screwed up my life
It killed my career / my daughter, my wife

And I can
Feel time crowding me in to a choice I can't stand
Seems the only time I feel like I'm in command --
Bullet time makes me a man.

The bad guys are good / at gaming the system,
So often I should / have hit 'em, I've missed 'em,
My vict'ries were mor / al, failures were mounting,
I needed a score / they'll think is worth counting.

In all of this time / I'd never killed any-
One solving crime / now there's so many,
Gun in my hand, lots of / blood on it too,
But what in the hell / is a man s'posed to do?

And I can
Feel time slippin', how long should I try to survive?
Seems the only time I can steer that inner drive --
Bullet time keeps me alive.

I got a moment here and a moment there
When I can focus on the how and why and where,
I can hear the clock tickin' in my head,
Counting down to the second when somebody's dead.

It's like makin' love, only lots more grim,
As the universe contracts to me and him,
The brush of a kiss, the squeeze of a trigger,
The smallest of motions and emotions get bigger....

The dream that they sell / we all try to be it,
A cold day in hell / before I ever see it,
And my only chance / for any salvation
Is seat-of-the-pants / straight into damnation

But I don't despair / you need hope for that one
I don't need a prayer / long as I got my gun
But in me's a cancer / the memory from back when
Death wasn't the answer / or even the question

And I
Feel time slowing, or am I just going insane?
Seems the only time that I can explain --
Bullet time eases the Payne.

credits

from And They Say I've Got Talent, released November 5, 2004

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Tom Smith Ann Arbor

Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts, minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come. ... more

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