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Behold the Crossing Guard

from The Last Hero On Earth by Tom Smith

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lyrics

ALISHAYA
Behold... the Crossing Guard!

GEORGE
Where's his little sign?

ALISHAYA
... What?

GEORGE
Nothing.

CROSSING GUARD
Welcome to the Convergence of Dimensions,
The Crossing of Realities,
The Nexus where all Time and Space are one,
Past and Future there for you to seize,
And, if you have the courage, you can visit distant suns,
Simply choose the proper vortices --
The most delicately balanced point in all the universe,
And to guard it is my privilige, my duty, and my curse.
State your name and your business and to where you would traverse:

GEORGE
I'm the Wa-

... Who am I kidding?

My name is George. George Everman. And I wanna go home. To Earth, please, sir.

CROSSING GUARD
That'll be ten credits, please.

credits

from The Last Hero On Earth, released May 26, 2006
Princess Alishaya: Karen Underwood

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Tom Smith Ann Arbor

Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts, minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come. ... more

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