Immediate download of 307 Ale in your choice of 320k mp3, FLAC, or just about any other format you could possibly desire. Also, if you buy it here, the money actually goes to Tom. :)
This was, no lie, inspired by a Michigan automobile license plate, 307 ALE. If you have this plate, in any state, send me a photograph of it, and I'll send you a free CD. For the most entertaining explanation of tesseracts you'll ever find, see "-- And He Built A Crooked House --" by Robert A. Heinlein (collected in The Unpleasant Profession Of Jonathan Hoag). This song was judged co-winner of the 1989 OVFF Songwriting Contest, along with Michael "Moonwulf" Longcor's "I Can't Party (As Hearty As I Partied When I Was Twenty-One)".
lyrics
There's many drinks you'll drink, me lads, on every world that's new.
There's Saurian Brandy, Cranapple Schnapps, and a good old Tullamore Don't.
There's Busch and Beck and Bud and Bock and others dark and pale,
But I think you'll find the finest kind is Three-Oh-Seven Ale.
(chorus)
Three-Oh-Seven Ale, me lads, Three-Oh-Seven Ale,
The finest drink that any bar has ever had for sale,
It'll lay your whole damn world to waste, it'll make you fit and hale,
There's nothing that you'll ever taste like Three-Oh-Seven Ale, me lads,
Three-Oh-Seven Ale.
It started out at M.I.T. one lazy summer day,
When a couple of the frat-boy techies started in to play,
They'd caught up on their schedule with a couple hours to kill,
So they fitted up the cyclotron and made themselves a still.
(chorus)
They added choice ingredients to brew a little brew,
But they didn't know the wires were crossed in Chamber Number Two.
A tiny bit of space got folded, things were looking queer --
They turned the spout and then came out the world's first Hyper-Beer.
(chorus)
It bubbled and it burbled and it glowed a fizzly green,
And what it did to test equipment, frankly, was obscene.
It took awhile to find a vial it wouldn't burst to flame,
Then they measured out its potency, and that's how it was named.
(slower)
There's many drinks you'll drink, me lads, but this one beats them all:
One hundred fifty-three and one-half percent alcohol,
A beer, brewed in a tesseract, that'll shoot you through the roof --
And if you don't believe me, I've got lots and lots of proof.
(final chorus)
Three-Oh-Seven Ale, me lads, Three-Oh-Seven Ale,
The finest drink that any bar has ever had for sale,
It'll lay your whole damn world to waste, it'll make you fit and hale,
It sticks to your mouth like library paste,
With a stronger kick than toxic waste,
There's nothing that you'll ever taste
Like Three-Oh-Seven Ale!
Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts,
minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come....more
Alexander James Adams "The Blue Rose Rare and Other Faerie Tales" is an excellent album. With songs retelling a variety of myths and faerie tales, each song is both very fun to listen to, fits well together as an album, and is distinct from the rest of the album. Brownie Dan especially stuck out to me, both in terms of just being a really fun song musically and in terms of the lyrics being delightful.
Definitely worth a listen, and thank you for a wonderful album. Kamani
Robins decided to release the recording of his 2016 comedy tour during the Covid-19 shutdown at the behest of fans. Bandcamp New & Notable May 29, 2020
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