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Warning: Wimbledon!

from The Last Hero On Earth by Tom Smith

/

lyrics

MAXICRON
Good morning, Hero Leaguers!

FENDERBENDER
Morning, Maxicron!

DARK SUN
Max.

AMAZING GRACIE
Hey, punkin'.

MAXICRON
Amazing Gracie, ixnay on the unkin-pay.

FENDERBENDER
Aah, come off it, big guy, Everyone knows.

MAXICRON
They DO!?

AMAZING GRACIE
Uh-huh.

DARK SUN
Remember last month when you had your memories drained by the Identity Thief? Well, he made MPGs.

MAXICRON
-- WHAT!?

COMPTROLL
Affirmative.

FENDERBENDER
They're all up at www.maxidoesgraciehubbahubba.com.

[assorted jibes]

MAXICRON
Fine. Fine. Any new business?

AMAZING GRACIE
Just one thing -- a letter. From... Wimbledon?

DARK SUN
What's it say?

AMAZING GRACIE
The Hero League has been invited
To travel overseas and play
In a charity event for the Duke of Kent
A tournament of croquet.
And they'll even pay our way.

HEROES
Cool!

[whoosh]

MAD SCIENTISTS (IN DISGUISE)
We'd like to welcome you to Wimbledon,
The proper sporting place for gentlemen
You are all pure of heart, thanks for taking part...
In our tournament of croquet.

FENDERBENDER
'Scuse me -- I don't know how to play.

MAD SCIENTISTS (IN DISGUISE)
Gasp!

SIR WILFRED (IN DISGUISE)
Now, now -- Let us explain the rules to our former colonists.

Our side's red and yellow, you'll be black and blue,
Take the club -- stout fellow! and we'll start with you.

DR. MALLEVO (IN DISGUISE)
Now you aim for the hoop -- [clack] -- play it where it lies --

SIR WILFRED (IN DISGUISE)
Good show!

DR. MALLEVO (IN DISGUISE)
And now it's our turn... so everybody dies!

credits

from The Last Hero On Earth, released May 26, 2006
Amazing Gracie: Karen Underwood

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Tom Smith Ann Arbor

Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts, minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come. ... more

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