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Pirate Ninjas From Dino Island

from The Last Hero On Earth by Tom Smith

/

lyrics

WAFFLE
Oh. Oh, man. I'm alive! I'm alive! There's a golden sky and three suns, but I'm alive. Wh-

PIRATES
Yo ho! On we go!
Way hey! All the way!
Yo ho! On with the show!
Way hey! A slaughter today!

ALISHAYA
Put me down! Let me go, you --

PIRATE CAPTAIN
Save yer breath, Princess Alishaya! You'll be needing it real soon.

ALISHAYA
Who are you barbarians, anyway?

PIRATE CAPTAIN
Ah, now, well, there's a tale.... What the hey! Ye deserve a bedtime story, before yer eternal sleep.

PIRATES
Heh heh heh.

PIRATE CAPTAIN
We're scavengers from across the stars
Upon our lightsail skiff.
One little blue planet that's just past Mars
Had history that was spiff.
And so we stole --

PIRATES
Er, borrowed --
Gleaned!

PIRATE CAPTAIN
A bunch of lovely myth!
So, Princess, you've been snatched by fiends
You never reckoned with!

PIRATE CAPTAIN, PIRATES
We're... the...

Pirate ninjas from Dino Island,
Ain't our livin' grand!
With cutlasses, kusari-gamas
And nun-chucks in our hands!
We've all got pterodactyls where
Our parrots ought to be!

PIRATE
And let me tell ya, my right shoulder's
In some misery, arrr....

[laughter]

ALISHAYA
You'll never get away with this!
My people will rescue me!

PIRATE CAPTAIN
My dear, you're sadly lacking in
Epistemology.
Your people tried to fight us,
I'm afraid they didn't win.
So, they believe it's fate we caught ye.
And they left you in
The hands of...

PIRATE CAPTAIN, PIRATES
Pirate ninjas from Dino Island,
Hide your wenches and gold!
We've shuriken in the crow's nest
And a T-rex in the hold!
We hoist the Jolly Raptor
As we sail the ocean blue,
And if ye see us, it's too late,
Because... we've... come... for... you!

[laughter]

credits

from The Last Hero On Earth, released May 26, 2006
Princes Alishaya: Karen Underwood

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about

Tom Smith Ann Arbor

Weird Al with more books, JoCo with more jokes, Carlin with more Cthulhu. Since 1985, Tom Smith has been breaking hearts, minds, and laws of propriety and physics with his insane blend of sf/fantasy, Life With Computers, pop culture, politics, and puns. More than twenty albums later, he maintains the best is yet to come. ... more

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